


A Light in the Dark

by rowdyhooligan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Feelings of guilt, Language, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, brief descriptions of gore, feelings of self doubt, grace!kink, gratuitous disney references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 01:37:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12002205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowdyhooligan/pseuds/rowdyhooligan
Summary: After a hunt gone wrong, Reader is feeling guilty about being unable to save the victims. Gadreel can’t allow this to continue.





	A Light in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted from tumblr

There was no denying the air of gloom that settled over the occupants of the impala. Ordinarily, you’d all be congratulating each other on the conclusion of another hunt, but no one much felt like celebrating. Yes, you’d been successful in stopping the rugaru, an unfortunate businessman completely unaware of his mutation, but it had been too late to save his wife. The image of him crouched over her still body would haunt your dreams for months to come.

Dean and Sam switched off driving throughout the night in an effort to reach the safety and comfort of the bunker; you huddled in the backseat, curled in on yourself and missing your angel. Gadreel had been called away to Heaven, along with Castiel. You’d been tempted to ask him to stay with you, but duty called and you couldn’t ask him to ignore his responsibilities. It had been the right call, but your heart ached for his comforting presence.

You eventually drifted off into fitful rest, jerking awake every half hour as nightmares plagued you. Just as the sun’s rays were peaking over the horizon did you finally manage to get a few hours of restless sleep. You were awakened by someone gently shaking your shoulder. “Hey,” Dean’s soothing voice called, “Come on sweetheart, wake up. We’re home.”

Stretching  tense muscles, you grudgingly slid out of the car, rubbing at your sore and puffy eyes. You didn’t need a mirror to tell they were probably bloodshot, both from lack of restful sleep and the tears that had leaked out during the night. Squinting in the bright midday sun, you guessed it was somewhere around lunchtime, though you weren’t feeling particularly hungry. As you moved to grab your gear, a warm hand landed on your arm.

Turning to face Dean, you had a moment to take in the compassionate look on his face before you were pulled into a tight hug, one of his arms wrapping around you while the opposite hand cradled the back of your head. You struggled against tears as he whispered reassurances in your ear, reminding you that it wasn’t possible to win all the time, that no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to save everyone. You knew that he was reminding himself as much as he was reminding you, and returned his hug just as fiercely. When he released you, you were immediately pulled into Sam’s arms, returning his hug as well. This hunt had been hard on all of you.

After a few minutes, the three of you pulled yourselves together and finished unloading Baby, glad to be back home. Going down the stairs in the entryway, you were greeted with an unwelcome sight. The lights were all off and not a soul stirred inside the dark rooms. You’d hoped that Gadreel would be back from Heaven by now, but it looked as though it wasn’t meant to be.

Trudging down the dimly lit halls, you made it to your room and immediately threw down your gear to crawl into bed, shoes and all. You drew yourself into a tight ball, staring at nothing in particular. Logically, you knew Dean was right- it wasn’t possible to save everybody, and you’d just burn yourself out trying. It didn’t take away the sting of failing someone though. Your mind nagged you that if only you’d moved faster, figured out what you were hunting sooner, narrowed down your suspects quicker, that woman would still be alive.

A knock at your door sounded. “Hey,” Sam’s muffled voice came through, “can I come in?”

You forced yourself to sit up and answered, “Yeah, Sam, the door’s not locked.”

He eased it open and peeked his head inside. One look at you, and he was striding towards the bed, wrapping you up in a tight hug. You let him, curling into the solace he provided. The pair of you stayed like that for several minutes, not saying a word, until you began to get antsy. As nice as it was, his embrace wasn’t the one you wanted.Pulling away slightly, you said, “Thanks Sam, I really needed that.”

He smiled down at you, gentle kindness radiating off of him. “Me too. You know that I’m here if you need to talk it out, right?”

“I know,” you replied, returning his smile with a soft one of your own, “it’s just…it’s hard, ya know? This life…”

“Yeah, I know. We just have to focus on the positive- as hard as it is to remember, we do help people. At least now, no one else will have to worry about that rugaru, or get hurt.”

“Right,” you responded, nodding your head firmly. You repeated his words silently, trying hard to convince yourself that he and Dean were right- you couldn’t save everyone and you did help people.

Interrupting your silent mantra, Sam said, “How about you come watch a movie with me and Dean? Try to- try to get your mind off things, okay? You can even pick the movie.”

Maybe a distraction was what you needed; you nodded your agreement. “That sounds good. Let me change, and I’ll be there okay?”

Sam readily agreed, a relieved smile on his face. Padding over to your collection of movies, you handed him your copy of  _Lilo & Stitch_. It had been your favorite Disney movie as a kid, and right now, you could really use the cheering up. Sam kind of raised his eyebrows in surprise, but didn’t ask any questions, simply taking the movie and leaving you to change.

You quickly changed into some pajama shorts and a tank top, and made your way to Sam’s room. It was where you usually had movie nights, and both brothers are already settled into place when you arrived. Dean gave you a soft smile, and you were surprised when he didn’t object to the movie you picked out.

The beautiful watercolors and story of family bonds quickly sucked you in as you lost yourself in the comfort of the familiar story. Your eyes got heavier as the movie went on and the last thing you remembered was Stitch saving Lilo from Captain Gantu’s ship. You were entirely unaware of Dean shutting off the movie as Sam gently lifted you up and carried you back to your room. At first, your dreams were an odd mix of the movie and moments of life in the bunker. It didn’t seem at all unusual to see Stitch and Dean arguing over the last slice of pie, or for Cas and Cobra Bubbles to be talking quietly in a corner. Your sleep addled brain accepted this without question.

But it didn’t take long for the scenes to take a darker turn, and soon you were back at the house of the rugaru. If anything, the dream version of the grisly scene was even worse than reality. Dream you stared down in horror as the wife gazed up with eyes filled with agony. “Why,” she cried out in anguish, “why didn’t you save me? How could you let me die?”

“I didn’t- I never meant-” you struggled to explain, eyes filling with tears. Though you didn’t realize it, you were thrashing in bed, silently crying into your pillow. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. We tried to save you. I’m sorry.”

“My love?” a beautifully familiar voice sounded behind you.

You tore your gaze away and spun around to come face to face with Gadreel. He took one look at you and swallowed you in his arms. Uncaring that this was only a dream, you burrowed into his embrace, sobbing as he whirled you away from the gruesome scene. All that mattered was that your angel was here.

Where he took you, you weren’t sure. The surroundings kept changing, one minute a white sand beach, and the next, a mountain forest. He crooned to you the entire time, whispering words of endearment and reassurance in your ear. He held you tight as you released your pent up emotions, fitting you to him securely.

Time was irrelevant in dreams, so there was no telling how long you stood there. By the time you cried yourself out, you were exhausted. All you could do was hold on tight to your angel as he rocked you back and forth. You glanced up at him, a look of worry on his face. “How did you know?”

“I could feel you in distress, my light. You were calling for me- I had to come. I’m sorry I could not be here sooner.”

“‘s not your fault, Gad. Heaven needs you.”

“Heaven can wait, dearest- you need me, and I will always come when you call.”

“Wait,” you asked, “so, you’re here here? Like, not just in my dream?”

“Of course. As I said, I will always come when you need me. Wake up, my light.”

Your eyes snapped open to stare into Gadreel’s. He lay beside you in bed, stretched out and holding you in his arms. You curled in even closer, not leaving so much as an inch between you. He’d ditched his hoodie and jeans, clad only in his boxers. The warmth of his skin melted into you soothing as a balm. His grace held you gently, the familiar caress of it wrapping around you like a security blanket.

“It’s alright, dear one, I’m here,” he murmured, pressing gentle kisses to the top of your head. After a few minutes of silence, he tentatively asked, “Do you wish to speak of it?”

You shook your head fiercely; you would talk about it eventually, but for now, all you wanted was to enjoy his presence. Gadreel accepted your response without argument. He was content to simply hold you, if that was what you needed. You allowed his calm demeanor to chase away the nightmares, the steady beat of his heart thudding reassuringly against your ear.

 _Alive alive you’re alive_ , it seemed to say. You’d managed to survive, and now here you were, safe with Gadreel. The solid strength of him, in your arms and in your bed, stirred a certain desperation in you. You had to feel him, had to chase away the nightmares.

You felt him startle at the first press of your lips against his skin, quickly followed by another and another as you peppered his chest with kisses. Gadreel pulled away slightly, looking down at you with concern. “Love…” he trailed off, uncertain as to how to continue.

“Please Gadreel,” you pleaded quietly, “I need to not think, to just…feel.”

Without a word, he rolled you over, pinning you underneath him. The look of tenderness and love on his face was almost enough to make you weep. Bracing himself on his elbows, he cupped your jaw in one hand, gently running his thumb along your cheek. His other hand sought your own, twining your fingers together in an unbreakable hold.

You spread your legs wide, accommodating his narrow hips and muscled thighs. Your free hand wound into his hair, tugging him down for a kiss. He reciprocated without hesitation, moving against your mouth lazily. When you ran your tongue along his lips, he parted them for you willingly, welcoming your exploration of his mouth with a groan.

Your kiss got more heated as you lost yourselves in one another. You ground your hips up into Gadreel’s, moaning at the feeling of his hardening erection. Your panties and shorts stuck to your skin, the slick of your arousal creating a damp spot as you rubbed against him. Pussy aching for him, you couldn’t hold back a gasp when his grace tweaked your nipples, fondling your breasts like an extra set of hands.

Breaking the kiss, you tossed your head back with a moan of his name as grace lapped and sucked and toyed with your body. You weren’t sure when it happened, but suddenly the two of you were completely naked. Gadreel’s mouth moved down to the crook of your neck, sucking a mark onto your skin. His grace latched onto the other side of your throat, sucking on that special spot below your ear that always had you squirming.

Gadreel moved his hand from your face down to your breast, cradling it in his palm before kissing his way down to your chest. He groaned as he sucked the nipple into his mouth, the sound of it reverberating through you. You arched into his mouth, your own panting sighs echoing back to you. All around were the sounds of your lovemaking.

You cried out softly when grace wiggled its way between your bodies to find your clit. It suckled on the swollen bud languidly, coaxing you closer to release. Your hips rutted against Gadreel’s, desperate for friction. He seemed equally lost to pleasure, his cock leaking precum onto your thigh with every thrust. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you clung tight as he worked you ever higher.

When his hand started inching it’s way from your breast down your side, you whined out in need. The feeling of him sliding two thick fingers inside your drenched core was divine, pulling more mewling gasps from you. He pumped into you with ease, your slick walls providing no resistance. He moaned out in Enochian, the only word you recognized being your name.

He whispered in your ear, jabbering on in the language of Heaven. You may not have understood what he was saying, but the tone of love and devotion was obvious. When he crooked his fingers just right, brushing against your g-spot, you were pushed over the edge, flung to the heights of pleasure. Ecstasy filled your shaking limbs as you clenched down around his fingers. Gadreel brought his lips to yours, smothering your cries with his kiss.

He gently worked you through your orgasm, eventually withdrawing both his grace and his fingers from your body. He detached himself from your lips and sucked his glistening fingers into his mouth, groaning at your flavor. You watched him lap up every drop of your release, his eyes closed in bliss. Once he finished, he propped himself up above you, gazing down with hooded eyes, and captured your mouth in a hungry kiss.

You whimpered at the ferocity of his kiss, the taste of your own arousal heavy on his tongue. His rigid cock bumped against your hip, and without breaking the kiss, you released your grip on his hair to grip him firmly. He mewled into your mouth as you pumped him a few times, spreading the sticky precum leaking from his tip all along his shaft. Coming up for desperately needed air, lips swollen from his kiss, you lined his cock up with your entrance.

Both of you moaned out in tandem as the head slipped into your channel, the wet heat of your cunt welcoming his hard length. He gently pushed inside in one thrust, immediately setting a steady rhythm. You clutched at his back with your free hand, the other still gripped tight in his. Gadreel balled the blankets in his fist, gripping tight as he rocked into you over and over again. The heavy slap of his hips against yours filled the room, adding to the whimpers and groans.

Gadreel reared up on his knees, changing the angle he entered you to hit your g-spot with every thrust. His grace returned, finding your clit once more and rubbing at it with firm strokes. You were almost sobbing when he lowered his head to the hollow of your throat, kissing you gently as he whispered your name. More grace suckled at your nipples, pulling at them until they stood to attention.

Your breasts bounced as he fucked into you deeper, his cock swelling inside you. You were both close, so close, to release. Sliding your hand down his sweat covered back to clutch at his ass, you whimpered out, “I’m almost there, Gad. Fuck, angel, I need you. Come with me love, come with me.”

Unable to deny you, Gadreel thrust once, twice more before letting go with a moan of your name, coming deep inside you. Hot jets of come filled you, triggering your own climax. Your inner walls spasmed uncontrollably as ropes of come coated your throbbing pussy. Pleasure sang through your body as you were pushed higher into ecstasy. It seemed to go on and on, both of you pushing each other deeper into bliss.

Gradually, he slowed his hips to a stop, his softening length slipping free from your soaked core. A shiver went down your spine at the feeling of your combined release trickling down your quivering thighs. Gadreel rolled off of you with a satisfied sigh, pulling you into his side. You draped over his torso, boneless and sated, unable to do more than moan as his grace cleaned up the sticky remnants of your lovemaking, leaving you clean.

Laying in silence, you reveled in his touch as he ran his hands up and down your back, soothing and comforting you. His mellow voice broke through the quiet. “Dear one, do you know why I call you ‘my light’?” he asked out of the blue.

Glancing up at him in confusion, you shook your head. You’d never given any thought to the pet names he had for you. “Not really, no.”

He smiled slightly at the bewildered expression on your face. “It is because, my love, you showed me there is more to living than darkness and suffering. Before I met you,  before I loved you and had your love in return, all I knew was torment. I never dared to dream or hope for kindness after my failures. And yet, you showed me, and continue to show me every day, that there is light in this world. Your compassion and kindness reminds me that there is more than despair and chaos. You light the darkness, and guide me towards a greater paradise than Heaven could ever be.”

You gaped at him, astounded by his words. Tears stung at your eyes and you sniffled out a weak “Gad…” before he chuckled softly and held you even tighter. You clung to him, overwhelmed by the love in his eyes. “I love you Gadreel, I love you so much,” was all you could say.

“And I you, my light. More than you will ever know. Now rest. There will be plenty of time for talk tomorrow. For now, I want you to sleep. I will stay and guard your dreams.”

He dropped one last kiss to the top of your head before pressing his fingers to your forehead. Sleep instantly claimed you, your angel standing sentinel over your dreams all night long.


End file.
